i wanna watch you turn into a werewolf (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
gorgeousnerd) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
firmament2009-05-04 07:17 pm
gorgeousnerd) wrote in firmament2009-05-04 07:17 pm
"Bad Timing", Harry Potter (Marauders), PG, Sirius/Remus.
Title: "Bad Timing"
Fandom: Harry Potter, Marauder-era
Rating: PG, no warnings
Length: One-shot, about 2000 words
Characters/Pairings: Sirius/Remus
Summary: Remus is stuck at Hogwarts over Christmas and receives a surprise visitor.
DW-exclusive notes: I wrote this several years ago when I was very strongly in my![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
shoebox_project phase; most of my Sirius/Remus fic has that sort of influence. I believe this was first posted on GJ, if that tells you anything.
Bad Timing
The empty beds of the Hospital Wing surrounded Remus as they usually did. Some of the time, they held a student or two, more if there was a Quidditch match in the recent past, but they might as well have been empty all the time. Madam Pomfrey always put a curtain around his bed if there were others around, and he wasn’t sure why she did it. Had Professor Dumbledore or his parents requested it? He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure which was better, seeing the empty beds or staring at their shadows on his curtain.
Remus also wasn’t sure how the little hints of Christmas on the walls made him feel, the pine with the red ribbons holding them together underneath the torches. He’d never seen the room decorated like this before, but then, he’d never been at Hogwarts during the winter holidays before. When Professor McGonagall had told him in her kind but firm manner that it would impossible for him to go home, he’d nodded solemnly and trudged to the library to finish the homework he’d been assigned for the holiday without a word. It had been lucky that he’d finished it so quickly; even with his quick healing, there’s no way he could concentrate or work on it now.
Luck had also been with him on the timing of the moon, in a way. If nothing else, he’d avoided the awkward questions from James and Peter and Sirius. Right after the full moon, Professor Dumbledore had visited and told him that he’d managed to convince the three that he’d had to be sent home early because of the timing. He hadn’t asked Remus if that’s what he wanted, but Remus was glad. He didn’t want to have to deal with awkward questions or see their faces when they heard he would be at Hogwarts for Christmas. Dumbledore had also given him a way to avoid the guilt he knew he’d feel about feeding the necessary lies, at least for now. He’d probably tell everything eventually, but now was not that time. When he felt better, he could blame the headmaster, although he doubted he would.
Madam Pomfrey was in her office, as usual, and Remus couldn’t understand why. Didn’t she have family to see? Sometimes, it seemed as if many of the teachers had no outside life, and, in a way, that made him feel better. He had an everlasting ache that told him without words that he would be the same one day. The fact that the professors never seemed to leave Hogwarts gave him some hope, tragic though it may be. It wasn’t as if they didn’t have friends or do anything exciting.
A door closing echoed in the hall outside, and Remus was tempted to turn his head in that direction, but he didn’t much feel like it. It was probably some teacher walking around, checking the halls for something or other, and that door at the end wouldn’t open unless they scouted the Hospital Wing, too. He was surprised he’d noticed it. The days upon days of infirmity he’d suffered had inured him to boredom and hours of carefully investigating the ceiling above him, and part of that involved shutting out the outside world to keep from wanting to participate in it.
He cracked a smile when he thought about Sirius or James laid up in bed like this. When James had broken something once and was waiting for Madam Pomprey to heal him, he’d been more antsy than Remus had ever been, and that was only after having to sit still for an hour. Neither of them would last a night in the Hospital Wing, much less the many weeks Remus had logged.
The door at the end of the room creaked open, but Remus didn’t move. The person would probably just move past him and into Madam Pomfrey’s office. He could hear the footsteps approaching and started counting them. Sometimes, he did that to see if he could figure out by the length of the stride who the person was. Dumbledore had an even, medium step, for example, and Madam Pomprey walked very slowly. It was one of the little games he played to keep from going mad, but sometimes he did it even when he wasn’t feeling closed in out of habit.
These steps were brisk and loud. Was there an emergency of some kind? Remus’s heart started beating faster of its own accord. The shoes clicked slightly on the stones, which was a possible characteristic of a more expensive make, but they seemed slightly muffled, as if there was something on the bottom of them.
He closed his eyes. Could it be? No, of course it couldn’t. He was at home with his family, he had to be.
The steps slowed as they reached his bed, and he could barely hear as they drew up closer to them.
“ARE YOU AWAKE, MOONY?”
Remus squeezed his eyes slightly out of habit. “If that was supposed to be a whisper, Sirius, you failed miserably.”
Even before he looked, he could feel Sirius’s breath on his ear. As he pulled them open, the warmth moved away from the side of his face to the top. A grinning boy with shaggy hair greeted his eyes.
“That, my dear Moony,” Sirius replied sagely, “was what is called a stage whisper by some. You might try reading about it some time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Remus frowned. “Why are you here? Who told you?”
Sirius’s smile never faltered, but his gaze chilled slightly. “No one, including a certain werewolf who shall not be named, mentioned that one Remus Lupin had taken up residence in a Certain Room for Certain Reasons. I just happened to return to this castle earlier than planned and was directed here when I inquired as to any interesting persons who might be residing within.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. “You can’t tell me you came back to Hogwarts on Christmas Eve because you felt like an exciting train ride. Someone had to tell you that I was here.”
Sirius placed his left hand on his chest and raised his right, frowned, then switched hands. “I swear to you on the vast wealth of the Black family that I knew nothing about you being here when I returned.”
“But it’s Christmas Eve! Why else would you be here?”
Sirius sat in the chair last used by Dumbledore days ago, and Remus tilted his head to look at him. “And nobody believes me when I tell them of your selfish tendencies. The universe revolves not around you!”
“Sirius,” Remus replied, the dread he‘d felt upon Sirius‘s arrival growing. “Why aren‘t you at James‘s? You were going here, right?”
“Because I was getting tired of his whingings regarding a certain redhead. I’m going to leave here, too, if you keep up the inquisitor act.”
“No...they don’t know you left, did you?” Remus’s eyes widened. “It’s Christmas Eve, I’d forgotten. They wouldn’t have let you go, so you left without telling them. Why?”
Sirius gave him a level look. “And why don’t you tell me why you didn’t go home for Christmas, huh, Moony?”
“Because the moon was so close to the holidays.”
“Nope, don’t buy it.” Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. “Dumbledore told us you’d left early. Why didn’t you?”
Remus sighed. “My mom’s sick, my dad’s nursing her, and they wouldn’t have been able to handle me on top of it all. Is that a little more plausible?”
“Um.” Sirius paled. “I think so, yes.”
“I was going to tell you, but I just didn’t want to think about it right now.” He smiled grimly and nodded at his mostly immobile frame. “What can I do right now?”
“She can’t be healed?”
“All I know is that she’s at St. Mungo’s and my dad’s looking after her.” Remus moved his eyes away from Sirius’s face. “They haven’t owled me, so I don’t know anything more.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Remus furrowed his brow. The pity on Sirius’s face stung more than the unhealed cuts he sported everywhere, just like he knew it would. It would have been tough enough to take when he was feeling well enough to handle it, but now...it was almost too much to bear.
“My family disowned me.”
Lifting his eyes, Remus searched Sirius’s face. “What?”
Any hints of a smile had completely disappeared. “Their legal representation owled me yesterday. It looked like a form letter.”
Remus felt his face softening into the same look that Sirius had sported just seconds earlier, and he immediately tried to pull it into a neutral expression. If Remus hadn’t wanted anything resembling pity from his fellow Marauders, Sirius would want it even less. It explained completely why he’d left the Potter house; he’d probably already felt like he’d been infringing enough.
He didn’t know what to do. A joke would be ignoring the pain Sirius was probably feeling, and sympathy was completely out of the question. He decided to go for honesty even though he didn’t think it would work.
“Your family...” Remus began, shifting slightly and taking a sharp breath as he jarred one of his injuries on the rail next to him.
Sirius’s expression immediately changed to one of concern. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Remus hissed through his teeth.
“You don’t look fine, I should get...”
“No, really.” He waited for the pain to fade. “There’s nothing she can do right now, and I’ll be as good as new in a few days.”
“Merlin, what happened? This doesn‘t look normal.”
Remus shrugged very slightly and was relieved to note that it didn’t hurt. “It’s sort of normal. Every so often I claw myself up a little too much when I’m changing back, and this happened to be one of these times. Madam Pomfrey can‘t heal werewolf injuries too well.”
Carefully, Sirius put a hand on one of the ones Remus had crossed on top of his chest. “I don’t know why I even mentioned being disowned, you’ve got more problems than I do.”
Remus shook his head. “No, I’m glad you told me.”
“It’s just whiny rich boy...” Sirius looked away. “Whiny former rich boy syndrome.”
“No.” Remus met Sirius’s eyes. “My family’s not doing so well, but...your family has never treated you like you should be treated. I can’t imagine what it would like being at James’s right now would be like.”
“Neither could I, that’s why I left.” Sirius smiled. “I don’t feel so guilty now that I know you’re here.”
“Yeah, now you get to keep the invalid company. What a wonderful Christmas we’re going to have.”
Sirius’s grin returned, but, instead of the goofy fun quality it usually had, it now had a genuine feel to it. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now.”
Then, to Remus’s surprise, Sirius leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the mouth. When Sirius broke contact, Remus smiled. “That’s a change from your usual licking, Pads.”
Sirius blushed slightly. That was something Remus had never seen before. “I’m...sorry, I shouldn’t have...”
“No need to apologize,” Remus replied, dropping the smile. “None at all.”
Squeezing Remus’s hand, Sirius stood and moved away. “I should let you rest. I’ll come back later, okay?”
“You don’t have to leave.”
“I shouldn’t be...”
Remus reached up and took Sirius’s hand. It hurt, but he was very good at ignoring pain. “I’ve been here alone for days. You don’t have to leave.”
Sirius searched Remus’s torn face for a moment, then lowered himself into the seat again. Remus eased himself back into the only position that was even halfway comfortable and closed his eyes.
“Then I’m not going to leave,” Sirius whispered.
Fandom: Harry Potter, Marauder-era
Rating: PG, no warnings
Length: One-shot, about 2000 words
Characters/Pairings: Sirius/Remus
Summary: Remus is stuck at Hogwarts over Christmas and receives a surprise visitor.
DW-exclusive notes: I wrote this several years ago when I was very strongly in my
shoebox_project phase; most of my Sirius/Remus fic has that sort of influence. I believe this was first posted on GJ, if that tells you anything.The empty beds of the Hospital Wing surrounded Remus as they usually did. Some of the time, they held a student or two, more if there was a Quidditch match in the recent past, but they might as well have been empty all the time. Madam Pomfrey always put a curtain around his bed if there were others around, and he wasn’t sure why she did it. Had Professor Dumbledore or his parents requested it? He didn’t know. He wasn’t sure which was better, seeing the empty beds or staring at their shadows on his curtain.
Remus also wasn’t sure how the little hints of Christmas on the walls made him feel, the pine with the red ribbons holding them together underneath the torches. He’d never seen the room decorated like this before, but then, he’d never been at Hogwarts during the winter holidays before. When Professor McGonagall had told him in her kind but firm manner that it would impossible for him to go home, he’d nodded solemnly and trudged to the library to finish the homework he’d been assigned for the holiday without a word. It had been lucky that he’d finished it so quickly; even with his quick healing, there’s no way he could concentrate or work on it now.
Luck had also been with him on the timing of the moon, in a way. If nothing else, he’d avoided the awkward questions from James and Peter and Sirius. Right after the full moon, Professor Dumbledore had visited and told him that he’d managed to convince the three that he’d had to be sent home early because of the timing. He hadn’t asked Remus if that’s what he wanted, but Remus was glad. He didn’t want to have to deal with awkward questions or see their faces when they heard he would be at Hogwarts for Christmas. Dumbledore had also given him a way to avoid the guilt he knew he’d feel about feeding the necessary lies, at least for now. He’d probably tell everything eventually, but now was not that time. When he felt better, he could blame the headmaster, although he doubted he would.
Madam Pomfrey was in her office, as usual, and Remus couldn’t understand why. Didn’t she have family to see? Sometimes, it seemed as if many of the teachers had no outside life, and, in a way, that made him feel better. He had an everlasting ache that told him without words that he would be the same one day. The fact that the professors never seemed to leave Hogwarts gave him some hope, tragic though it may be. It wasn’t as if they didn’t have friends or do anything exciting.
A door closing echoed in the hall outside, and Remus was tempted to turn his head in that direction, but he didn’t much feel like it. It was probably some teacher walking around, checking the halls for something or other, and that door at the end wouldn’t open unless they scouted the Hospital Wing, too. He was surprised he’d noticed it. The days upon days of infirmity he’d suffered had inured him to boredom and hours of carefully investigating the ceiling above him, and part of that involved shutting out the outside world to keep from wanting to participate in it.
He cracked a smile when he thought about Sirius or James laid up in bed like this. When James had broken something once and was waiting for Madam Pomprey to heal him, he’d been more antsy than Remus had ever been, and that was only after having to sit still for an hour. Neither of them would last a night in the Hospital Wing, much less the many weeks Remus had logged.
The door at the end of the room creaked open, but Remus didn’t move. The person would probably just move past him and into Madam Pomfrey’s office. He could hear the footsteps approaching and started counting them. Sometimes, he did that to see if he could figure out by the length of the stride who the person was. Dumbledore had an even, medium step, for example, and Madam Pomprey walked very slowly. It was one of the little games he played to keep from going mad, but sometimes he did it even when he wasn’t feeling closed in out of habit.
These steps were brisk and loud. Was there an emergency of some kind? Remus’s heart started beating faster of its own accord. The shoes clicked slightly on the stones, which was a possible characteristic of a more expensive make, but they seemed slightly muffled, as if there was something on the bottom of them.
He closed his eyes. Could it be? No, of course it couldn’t. He was at home with his family, he had to be.
The steps slowed as they reached his bed, and he could barely hear as they drew up closer to them.
“ARE YOU AWAKE, MOONY?”
Remus squeezed his eyes slightly out of habit. “If that was supposed to be a whisper, Sirius, you failed miserably.”
Even before he looked, he could feel Sirius’s breath on his ear. As he pulled them open, the warmth moved away from the side of his face to the top. A grinning boy with shaggy hair greeted his eyes.
“That, my dear Moony,” Sirius replied sagely, “was what is called a stage whisper by some. You might try reading about it some time.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Remus frowned. “Why are you here? Who told you?”
Sirius’s smile never faltered, but his gaze chilled slightly. “No one, including a certain werewolf who shall not be named, mentioned that one Remus Lupin had taken up residence in a Certain Room for Certain Reasons. I just happened to return to this castle earlier than planned and was directed here when I inquired as to any interesting persons who might be residing within.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. “You can’t tell me you came back to Hogwarts on Christmas Eve because you felt like an exciting train ride. Someone had to tell you that I was here.”
Sirius placed his left hand on his chest and raised his right, frowned, then switched hands. “I swear to you on the vast wealth of the Black family that I knew nothing about you being here when I returned.”
“But it’s Christmas Eve! Why else would you be here?”
Sirius sat in the chair last used by Dumbledore days ago, and Remus tilted his head to look at him. “And nobody believes me when I tell them of your selfish tendencies. The universe revolves not around you!”
“Sirius,” Remus replied, the dread he‘d felt upon Sirius‘s arrival growing. “Why aren‘t you at James‘s? You were going here, right?”
“Because I was getting tired of his whingings regarding a certain redhead. I’m going to leave here, too, if you keep up the inquisitor act.”
“No...they don’t know you left, did you?” Remus’s eyes widened. “It’s Christmas Eve, I’d forgotten. They wouldn’t have let you go, so you left without telling them. Why?”
Sirius gave him a level look. “And why don’t you tell me why you didn’t go home for Christmas, huh, Moony?”
“Because the moon was so close to the holidays.”
“Nope, don’t buy it.” Sirius crossed his arms over his chest. “Dumbledore told us you’d left early. Why didn’t you?”
Remus sighed. “My mom’s sick, my dad’s nursing her, and they wouldn’t have been able to handle me on top of it all. Is that a little more plausible?”
“Um.” Sirius paled. “I think so, yes.”
“I was going to tell you, but I just didn’t want to think about it right now.” He smiled grimly and nodded at his mostly immobile frame. “What can I do right now?”
“She can’t be healed?”
“All I know is that she’s at St. Mungo’s and my dad’s looking after her.” Remus moved his eyes away from Sirius’s face. “They haven’t owled me, so I don’t know anything more.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Remus furrowed his brow. The pity on Sirius’s face stung more than the unhealed cuts he sported everywhere, just like he knew it would. It would have been tough enough to take when he was feeling well enough to handle it, but now...it was almost too much to bear.
“My family disowned me.”
Lifting his eyes, Remus searched Sirius’s face. “What?”
Any hints of a smile had completely disappeared. “Their legal representation owled me yesterday. It looked like a form letter.”
Remus felt his face softening into the same look that Sirius had sported just seconds earlier, and he immediately tried to pull it into a neutral expression. If Remus hadn’t wanted anything resembling pity from his fellow Marauders, Sirius would want it even less. It explained completely why he’d left the Potter house; he’d probably already felt like he’d been infringing enough.
He didn’t know what to do. A joke would be ignoring the pain Sirius was probably feeling, and sympathy was completely out of the question. He decided to go for honesty even though he didn’t think it would work.
“Your family...” Remus began, shifting slightly and taking a sharp breath as he jarred one of his injuries on the rail next to him.
Sirius’s expression immediately changed to one of concern. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Remus hissed through his teeth.
“You don’t look fine, I should get...”
“No, really.” He waited for the pain to fade. “There’s nothing she can do right now, and I’ll be as good as new in a few days.”
“Merlin, what happened? This doesn‘t look normal.”
Remus shrugged very slightly and was relieved to note that it didn’t hurt. “It’s sort of normal. Every so often I claw myself up a little too much when I’m changing back, and this happened to be one of these times. Madam Pomfrey can‘t heal werewolf injuries too well.”
Carefully, Sirius put a hand on one of the ones Remus had crossed on top of his chest. “I don’t know why I even mentioned being disowned, you’ve got more problems than I do.”
Remus shook his head. “No, I’m glad you told me.”
“It’s just whiny rich boy...” Sirius looked away. “Whiny former rich boy syndrome.”
“No.” Remus met Sirius’s eyes. “My family’s not doing so well, but...your family has never treated you like you should be treated. I can’t imagine what it would like being at James’s right now would be like.”
“Neither could I, that’s why I left.” Sirius smiled. “I don’t feel so guilty now that I know you’re here.”
“Yeah, now you get to keep the invalid company. What a wonderful Christmas we’re going to have.”
Sirius’s grin returned, but, instead of the goofy fun quality it usually had, it now had a genuine feel to it. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be right now.”
Then, to Remus’s surprise, Sirius leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the mouth. When Sirius broke contact, Remus smiled. “That’s a change from your usual licking, Pads.”
Sirius blushed slightly. That was something Remus had never seen before. “I’m...sorry, I shouldn’t have...”
“No need to apologize,” Remus replied, dropping the smile. “None at all.”
Squeezing Remus’s hand, Sirius stood and moved away. “I should let you rest. I’ll come back later, okay?”
“You don’t have to leave.”
“I shouldn’t be...”
Remus reached up and took Sirius’s hand. It hurt, but he was very good at ignoring pain. “I’ve been here alone for days. You don’t have to leave.”
Sirius searched Remus’s torn face for a moment, then lowered himself into the seat again. Remus eased himself back into the only position that was even halfway comfortable and closed his eyes.
“Then I’m not going to leave,” Sirius whispered.